Wednesday, March 10, 2010


I had a rough day.  Without going into too much detail, my children have a lot of challenges and I am constantly advocating on their behalf, trying to get them the help and resources they require.  I don’t claim to be a perfect parent.  I make a lot of mistakes.  I definitely yell too much and I sometimes say the wrong thing but I try really hard.  I want my kids to be happy and successful.  I want them to have options when they grow up and I am always trying to keep my eye on the big picture where they are concerned.  So when anybody even hints that the challenges my kids face and the behaviours they sometimes exhibit are my fault, it cuts me to the core.  I think every parent feels inadequate at one time or another so to have another person judge me or my parenting abilities just brings out all my insecurities.

I was thinking about all of this on the way home from work today.  It was a gorgeous, sunny, warm spring day, and I couldn’t see it, couldn’t enjoy it.  Comments made during a phone conversation with a person whom I have never even met face to face were eating away at me and I kept replaying her words over and over in my mind.


After driving for a while, some things became clear.  I finally realized that I cannot control my children’s behaviour or my husband’s or anybody else’s.  I can’t control what people say about me or think about me.  At the end of the day, I can only control my own thoughts and my own behaviour and if I can sleep at night knowing that I have done the best that I can do for my kids, then what difference does it make what anybody else thinks?